Letting go...
A week from now my oldest daughter will be married. I am not ready for my kids to be grown up - but regardless of what I am ready for - days, weeks, months go by and children grow bigger, stronger, and eventually are out on their own. Still I think back to the day I found out I was pregnant... to the terrified 17 year old college student who's life was forever changed... to the day I left the hospital with her in my arms.
Now that baby girl who changed my world forever is getting ready to have a life changing event of her own. I am happy for her... yet a part of my heart longs to hold my baby girl just a little longer... but she is no longer a little baby girl. She is a grown woman with a mind of her own, a life to live, and experiences to have. This mom will support her from a distance with prayers, love, and availability if ever needed.
It's much like the first time I put her on the bus and off she went without me - I could only pray and believe that God was taking care of her. I hoped the best but had no control. The older I get the more I realize I have no control... God alone is in control.
It will be a busy week... and at the end of it my family will only be larger than it was before... I will have new in laws and family members to meet. It's amazing how letting go turns into gaining more... in my little upside down world.
I am a mom, a grandmother, a mother in law (in one week), a sister, a friend, an employee, a student, an intern, and probably have many more roles I fulfill. But more than that, I am a woman who has always desired to have God's best in her world, and to help anyone I can. My husband and I officially have eleven kids... if I had my way I'd have more kids ... but even if they are not my kids I'd do anything I could to make their lives better - truly better.
